I was just heading to bed when inspiration struck. I was going to write in my journal but then thought, "what the hey?" So here I am...
I was talking with my sister-in-law today (again...this seems to be a reoccurring pattern...) and we got talking about teen pregnancy. It's crazy the different outcomes of it all. I personally am a prime example of one possible outcome. For those of you who aren't intimately "in the know" with my story, my birth mother became pregnant with me at the age of 15 and delivered when she was 16. She decided that she wanted me to be raised with both a father and a mother who were better prepared than she was to have children.
I was raised in a loving home with one older brother (natural born to my folks) and a big sister (who was a foster child to my parents). I was raised as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. My parents always told me that I was adopted. They taught me that it was nothing to be ashamed of.
Many people live under the misconception that a girl who chooses to give a child up for adoption is self serving. They may feel that it is a huge mistake to give up their child who is "their flesh and blood." I can't buy into that pattern of thought. I believe that giving a child up for adoption is an act of love.
Having been pregnant myself, I know that it is difficult to feel anything but love for a child that is growing inside of you. That baby becomes a part of you. You aren't just feeding you, you're feeding your child. Everything about the experience is incredibly exhausting and the thing that keeps you going is your love for that baby.
How grateful I am to my loving birth mother! What a wonderful, loving and charitable person she must have been to put my needs before her own! She not only allowed me to grow inside of her for ten months in the middle of some of the hardest years of life, enduring who knows what kind of harassment from peers and others who feel it's their right to judge others! After all of the pain and time she gave me, she trustingly allowed two people that she'd never met who wanted a baby and weren't able to have any more, to raise her child. She left it in the Lord's hands, and what better hands to leave me in?
I can't imagine a day goes by where she doesn't think of me. I know I think of her. I wish so much that I could have the opportunity to thank her for her sacrifices. I want to show her all that I've accomplished in my life. I want her to meet my wonderful husband and see the sweet baby who so resembles what I looked like at his age. Above all else, I want her to know that she did the right thing for me.
I love my birth mother. I love my mom too. They are different feelings that I have, different kinds of love, but both include a deep gratitude and respect. Women are amazing.
Sara- you're a stellar mom! Please please please don't read this and think it's written to you. Your story is far different from this one. I love you and am so glad that you and your hubby and babies will be with me forever!
Some funny things I got as a kid-
Question #1 from every elementary aged child who learns that you're adopted- What was it like to be an orphan? (Too much Annie right?)
Question #2 - Does it make you sad that your REAL mom didn't want you? (Kids can be brutal)
Question #3- Do you want to meet your REAL mom? (Not too weird, except no one ever says birth mom. She's the REAL one- didn't even have to change any diapers for that title!)
I suppose I just wanted to share my thoughts. I think I'll be able to sleep now. :)
Goodnight.
